Mister Mom
by chashkieh
Summary: The kids were excited about their first ever field trip. After much reluctance (their father citing the dangers of contracting diseases and whatnot) with Lucifer mostly, they were finally allowed to join the bunch of miscreants (Lucifer's words).


**Scene: Zain and Lucian on their first field trip. One shot!**

* * *

The kids were excited about their first ever field trip. After much reluctance (their father citing the dangers of contracting diseases and whatnot) with Lucifer mostly, they were finally allowed to join the bunch of miscreants (Lucifer's words).

Chloe prepared all the stuff the kids will need the night before, laid their outfits, some snacks, and called it a night. She left Zain's room and got startled by Lucifer's sudden appearance, literally, out of nowhere.

"Jesus, Lucifer." She placed a hand near her heart and huffed.

"Two entirely different people, dear."

"Whatever. Why are you here?"

"Ugh, this is my house too." Chloe rolled her eyes at his statement. "Oh, and I've just finished preparing the spawn's luggage."

His wife nodded nonchalantly, brows raised and told him "Luggage? They're going away for two days, Lucifer. Not a week."

"I just wanted to make sure they have everything they need."

"Been there, done that. Now, come on." She took him by the hand and snatched the hand-carry luggage away. Chloe's actually quite worried too, not for her children, but with what Lucifer's been up to the last few hours.

* * *

Lucifer caved in after a quick staredown the next morning at his insistence of the hand-carry luggage (again) versus the bag packs and that's one crisis averted for Chloe.

When they got to the school, a very sophisticated looking bus parked next to the standard one caught Chloe's attention. The blonde's eyes narrowed dangerously at her husband's smug face.

"What? Only the best for the children. It's bulletproof, has a gps tracker, its own loo, and a bar - of course, I had them replace the liquors with snacks and kid friendly refreshments." The man looked so proud.

"Lucifer," She hissed, however, she puts on a smile when the principal approached and thanked them for sponsoring the entire trip.

Chloe's eyes widened as she tried to suppress an incoming groan. How dare he go behind her back?

"I believe that evens the score, love."

"I didn't know we were keeping score, _babe_. Really? You wanted to get back at me for the luggage?" The devil's face fell immediately once he realized what he's done.

The detective headed towards the children and reminded them of the do's and don'ts followed by a quick hug to send them off. How quickly the years had gone by.

Their father just gave them a thumbs up and once again triggered Chloe's suspicion.

The luxury bus left the school grounds on schedule and the detective thought she could finally breathe. She didn't want her children to be the center of _more_ attention, what with her being an ex-actress now married to the once elusive, coveted club owner.

Of course, leave it to Lucifer to meet certain expectations when she saw a very familiar car trailing the bus.

 _God. Did he just send Maze to stalk the kids?_

She was about to open her mouth to yell at the old scratch when Lucifer raised his palm in a placating gesture.

"It's just a precaution, Chloe. Please don't fret."

"You do know that they're more than capable of defending themselves, right?"

"Against humans, yes. But hardly at the supernatural…"

"That's what the hellhounds are for."

"Right. But you can never be too careful."

"Ughhhhh!"

The devil's wife exhaled through her nose in what could only be described as full on rage. She stared daggers at him and he squirmed.

"Now you're being scary." He took a few steps back after seeing her brow twitch.

"You have to let them be at some point, or else they'd be dependent on you all their life. I don't think you'd want that, believe me. I also wouldn't be surprised if they ended up in a mental institution at an early age and I'm not quite sure if I'd still be around to intervene."

"But,"

"You're such a worry wart, Lucifer."

"Most certainly am not!"

"Oh? Perhaps overprotective mother is more fitting?"

"Low blow, darling."

"Uh huh."

"Fine, fine. I'll phone Maze and tell her to be discreet. She would have insisted to stand guard anyway, wouldn't you agree? I'd also have you know that she wanted to drive the bus herself but I convinced her otherwise."

The devil fumbled with his phone, decided against calling Maze and fired off a text instead. His demon bodyguard replied back with a poop emoticon.

"Maze is such a sweetheart." He showed his wife Maze's text.

"You need to loosen up, seriously."

Chloe shook her head. Goodness, she didn't need this today. She walked towards the SUV and before she climbed in the driver's seat, she told her husband to get an uber instead.

How many times had it been now, that she'd left him on the street? Lucifer thought.

* * *

"Heya, munchkin, everything alright?" Chloe answered her phone as soon as the screen lit up and showed her eldest son's face.

"Mommy, can you please tell Aunt Maze to go home? She's being a total creeper."

"Why is Maze following us?" Questioned Lucian.

"Uhh, your father made her do it." She slapped a hand on her forehead. "Is this like one of your abilities? You felt her presence or something?"

"Yes and No, Mom. Being discreet seemed to have eluded Aunt Maze that there wasn't any need for us to 'feel' her presence per se. She's perched on the top of the tree where our tent is. Could you please call her and convince her to go home?"

Zain pleaded with his mother.

Chloe drew in a sharp breath.

"I'll see what I can do. Hang in there."

"Mom!"

"Oops."

It was a little funny to tease her eldest son but really, Maze needed to leave them alone.

"And also tell Dad we'll keep Juliet and Ramsey around so he could rest easy. At least our classmates couldn't see them. You knew, right?"

"About the hounds? Yes." She cringed. There are still some things that Chloe found hard to wrap her head around.

Not soon after, Maze scowled when she got the call from Decker. She gave the two hellions a wink before she disappeared which made the kids sigh in relief.

Their mother was relieved too that Maze did not protest.

* * *

Chloe opened the door to their house and dropped her keys, called out for her husband. Having received no response, she half shrugged and removed her jacket and plopped on the couch. It has been a long day at work, not only that, but she also had to worry about what Lucifer was up to with the kids. She wished hard that her sons won't be traumatized with their father being a helicopter parent.

Meanwhile, she was low-key watching over them. There has to be a balance of some sort, some semblance of normalcy out of their extraordinary life. A few years back and Chloe would've laughed at the idea, her not being religious and all, now made into a believer. A believer in a sense that she knew literally, that God and all those bible stuff really existed and not because of her faith.

One more day without her sons, and one more day to keep tabs on a certain club owner. It was exhausting on top of her arduous work.

The detective closed her eyes briefly, breathed in when a pair of hands gently massaged her shoulders. The devil's back massages were the absolute best.

"This does not let you off the hook." She hummed in response. Getting used to his sneaky antics had been challenging but she found a way without having to tie a bell around his neck (he would have loved that by the way.), although, on occasion (like the other night), she would still get jumpy.

"It doesn't?"

"Where were you? Please tell me you didn't go to the children's location to spy on them?"

"Oh, pffft. Why would I do that?" A nervous laugh escaped Lucifer's lips and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, he was guilty.

"Yeah, why wouldn't _you_? I told you to leave them alone."

"Ughhh."

His response came after Chloe's phone rang the third time that night. The detective's eyes narrowed at the civilian consultant as she picked up and heard the groan on the line from her eldest son. Lucifer grimaced and was about to make a run for it but was stopped by her holding up one finger and glared daggers his way. It would be totally unwise for him to undermine her authority at the moment.

"I'm so sorry he did that Zain. Did you boys have a good time though?" Chloe spoke, her voice modulated in an effort to hide her disdain towards Lucifer. "Uh huh, awesome! Anyway, not to worry, I'll talk to your father again, I promise. Alright, I love you both."

Chloe's hands ended up on her hips after she ended the call.

"See? You're driving them crazy. You're driving _me_ crazy. You're sleeping on the couch tonight…"

The devil was about to protest when she opened her mouth again.

"No, wait, I retract that, I'd rather keep an eye on you. Come to bed."

* * *

Chloe woke up to an empty bed and she cursed inwardly, too tired last night to notice that her husband slipped out.

She grabbed her phone and checked if there were any missed calls, there weren't - but Lucifer could have intercepted the calls. So she called his phone, ready to yell her head off.

"Chloe, good morning."

"Where are you?"

"Downstairs, where else? Come have breakfast before we pick up the hellions later today, yeah?"

The detective went downstairs, huffing as she did.

"Please tell me you didn't pester them again?"

"A wee bit grouchy today, I see. And to answer your question, no I didn't. You made me promise last night, and my word is my bond."

She eyed him carefully and finally relaxed and sighed.

"Good. I'll get ready then."

* * *

The car ride was quiet, much too silent for Lucifer's liking. So he decided to break the ice with an apology.

"I apologize deeply. I'm merely concerned with the offspring's welfare…"

"I know that, babe. I know you mean well, but you're being paranoid. Unless you're trying to drive the kids away, then by all means, keep it up."

"Of course I don't want the children to hate me. You and the offspring are all that matters to me."

"Then swear you'll let them be their own person. Be the cool parent. Not too lax but not too tight either. Be their friend, their confidant. Chastise them, encourage them when needed, but don't be overbearing. They'll thank you someday."

Lucifer nodded.

* * *

Zain and Lucian embraced their mother and excitedly told her about their adventures on the two-day trip, not even sparing their father a glance. Lucifer stood awkwardly while watching his beloved family and saw how happy the spawn were despite the stunts he pulled.

"Children…" He started. Chloe and the boys looked at him and waited for his next words. "I am sorry for the misunderstanding. It won't happen again. If you sense any trouble, supernatural or mundane, let us know immediately. Juliet and Ramsey is non-negotiable. They must go wherever you go. Deal?"

"Deal."

Chloe smiled. Her phone rang and she had to get out of earshot.

"And one more thing, hellions. I'm going to teach you simple seals and spells in case the threat is out of scope for the hounds - although there aren't so many." He added. "For extreme emergencies only."

"Cool."

Chloe came back from the call.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing of utmost importance."

She knew from his grin he had something up his sleeve.

* * *

 **Notes: Inspired by the playful banter/bickering of deckerstar in s3e03**

 **" _Unless this is you being the overprotective mother."_**


End file.
